Five Ways to Love Your Husband

Support

“Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.” Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)

Your husband should know you’ve got his back. You are his biggest cheerleader and the president of his fan club. If he has a dream, have enough vision to help him.  Let him know that you believe in his dreams. Then get in there and help him achieve them. Don’t be a spectator on the sideline waiting for him to fail. If you don’t know what to do, ask him how you can help him. It may be as simple as fixing him a cup of tea while he’s up burning the midnight oil.  

Serve

“Whoever wants to be great must become a servant.” Mark 10:43 (MSG)

Servant is not a bad word. It doesn’t mean you’re in the dungeon with a ball and chain. Showing your love by acts of service is not a bad thing. For some people, acts of service is their primary love language. But whatever his love language, your husband will appreciate you having a spirit of service. Fix his plate.   Yes, he has two legs, but do it as an act of love and service. Surprise him and take out the garbage or another task that will help him out. As Christians we should have servant hearts. Jesus said he came to serve and not be served. If Jesus, the Son of God, can wash his disciples feet, surely we can rub our husbands every once in a while.

Speak Life

“Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21 (MSG)

Life and death are in power of tongue. The tongue is hard to tame and too many of us have killed people with our tongues, including our spouses. I have heard women tell their husbands to shut up in public. Not good. Treat and speak to others the way you want to be treated. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings. Don’t embarrass him, especially in front of other men. You don’t have to say whatever comes to mind when you want. Have wisdom to know when to say some things. To you it may not be nagging, but to him it is. The book of Proverbs has several scriptures about a “nagging” spouse. For example:

“A nagging spouse is like
    the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet;
You can’t turn it off,
    and you can’t get away from it.” Proverbs 27:15-16 (MSG)

Don’t be a leaky faucet. Know when to turn it off.

Compliment him. Praise him. Encourage him. Thank him for what he does. Write him  note. Tell him you love him. Speak well of him to others. Let your words bring him life.

Seek his counsel

“Take good counsel and accept correction—
    that’s the way to live wisely and well.” Proverbs 19:20 (MSG)

You know you can do it yourself. Maybe you have all the answers. But maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to seek your husband’s counsel. Even if it is just to let him know that you respect his opinion and thoughts. We all need to be needed sometimes and men are natural problem solvers. Let him know that you value his thoughts and ideas. Spouses tend to balance one another out and he may have just the perspective that you need or sees something you never thought about.

Sex

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
    The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24 (MSG)

God made sex for marriage and he made it to bond a husband and a wife. It is how men connect. To quote Steve Harvey from his best-selling book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man (which I have never done), “We need to be physically engaged with the woman we love, the woman who is loyal to us and supports us, and the way that we do that is by making love….the way we men connect is by having sex. Period. It’s how we plug in, recharge, and reconnect.”

If you love your husband and want to show your love, connect with him physically. Make love. Don’t use sex as a weapon to manipulate but view it as a gift from God to celebrate your union. You might have to work on it. Plan it. Buy some sexy lingerie. Send the kids away.  By any means necessary, make a way to connect.

Get Some Rest

 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught.  Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:30-31

Ministry requires rest and replenishing. One definition of minister is to “attend to the needs of.” You do not have to have a clerical collar or a title to minister. Whatever place that God has placed you, we are to be ministers and minister his grace to others.  Paul said in the book of Second Corinthians that we all have the ministry of reconciliation.

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5: 18-19

If you are taking care of your family, you are ministering. If you are an employee who is working hard and handling your bosses business with integrity, you are ministering. If you are taking care of an elderly parent or someone who is sick, you are ministering. We can minister in myriad ways. We can minister in as many ways as there are needs to be attended.

But when you give, you have to make sure that you get rest and restored. If you have nothing, then you have nothing to give. It’s not a sin to take a break. As I heard my brother, Rev. K. Edward Copeland say once, sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nap.

You can get so busy ministering to others that you neglect yourself. People will drain you and when you are drained you can become resentful. You can become short-tempered. You can burn out.  Ministry becomes a chore instead of a joy.

In the sixth chapter of Mark, the disciples were so busy that they didn’t even have time to eat. They had been busy teaching, casting out demons and healing. Jesus told his disciples to get away. He invited them to spend time with him in a quiet place.

You need time alone with Jesus. You need to get to a quiet place. A place with no distractions. Turn off the television. Turn off your cell phone, Facebook and Twitter. Get quiet so you can hear Jesus without the noise and distractions of the world.

Get some rest.